I should keep my life updated - This realisation just came to me now as I'm typing.

four months has passed and now I have reached the final moment in my 4th year of college.

5 mins ago while having a little escape on Facebook trying to distract myself from work,

I saw pictures of him - the damn french guy I met in Pai, with his arm around some Vietnamese girl who he claimed to be that "someone"

Looking back I've just realised how young and foolish I was back then and how it is to feel like one of someone's million side stories, a true, one and only "passerby" status 

Don't get me wrong I don't feel anything for him anymore. I was lonely and so he was. I was on tinder and that's how we met

The only difference is that, at the time he knew this was only a temporary thing. I was only his traveling friend who he seek out while he was feeling lonely (and probably horny) while young and stupid me wasn't thinking the same. Stupid me left Pai mildly heart-broken, and hurt. (Like I said I was SO young)

We almost had it. Yes, almost. 

A year has passed, He was in Vietnam then and his Visa was going to expired, so he need to get out of the country somewhere and come back to extend his visa. The time was so right. I was the first to text him in a year out of boredom and exhaustion from my class project. Voila! - He was about to come to Thailand and ask me to come along. 

(Who would have thought? I thought maybe this is some shot of redemption. Fuck me right?)

I took him to around, we had fun walking around talking about things

And for that last moment,

We kissed

 

and then We parted

We talked through messenger for a few couple of days

and that was it.

He went back to his life, going on Tinder on and on to find girls just for company

and I went back to mine.

As anti-climatic as it sounds, it is how it is.

A higher being probably destined me and him to meet again to make me realized that - having someone besides you could aid that feeling of loneliness but it's not the same as being loved.

I'm glad we met, I'm glad this all happened

but also, I don't even want to see him again.

What should I say?

Thank god?

or should I thank fate?