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Turn back time
  • "If I could have turned back time, I would have saved you."


    If she can turn back time, she is definitely going to save him. When the older boy wakes up at night, almost drowning in his own sweat, she will tell him it is merely a bad dream that will fade like the mist in the morning. He might not buy a young girl's story, but she believes she still can catch a glimpse of gratitude in those big, brown eyes that reminds her of the scorching sun above her hometown. she assumes that it may be the first time someone tells him so, since his father left him long time ago and his mother is million miles away. When his hand curl into a fist, his body shaking with rage, she will withhold his punch; or, if things go wrong, she will take it for him no matter what. When he shuts the door to the whole world, she will open it and sit beside him, looking at sparkling lights that never brings the city to its rest. And when he complains that there is no star to be seen in the sky, she will tell him he could visit her home one day. There, the whole galaxy will be laid out before him and there are only stars and stars and stars, like the countless sand spreading on the vast desert. When he falls asleep, then wakes up from the same nightmare again, she will hold his hand and repeat the words to console his troubled soul. She will have a second chance to see how his eyes close and a peaceful look graces his face, and how beautiful and kind he truly is. Until there comes the time when blood spills on his hand and they say it is too late, this time she will not run away. She will ask him to stay, if she can turn back time —

    If he stays, things will turn drastically different. Because when he says sorry, he will be forgiven. He will have home to go back to, the family to cling on, and the future that does not involve pain and suffering of himself and others. He might not be less bitter, but he will reconsider; he might not be a better man, but he will be happier. He might even find someone to love and let himself be loved in a very simple way. He will live a very ordinary, peaceful, and almost boring life. But this time, it is enough. Despite a possibility that if he stays, they will never meet one another — her choice will be the same. There is always the price to pay when you turn back time, isn't it? But it is worth it every damn time. 

    If she can turn back time and he is saved, they will think of each other but phantoms in vague memories. Their names are stuck at the tips of their tongues, never let out. She will die alone and he will never visit the place where stars spray across the dark canvas of the night sky. The promise will be forgotten as if it never exists. Their hearts will be broken without knowing. There is something missing that they do not know how to find. They will live on, drifting separately from each other, like two planets whose orbits never come closer and they never collide. No destruction will be caused, no wars to be waged, no tears to waste. At least, to her, it is for the best. Only if she could have turned back time, —
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