what are you most afraid of?

A simple question i have been asked by someone who sat next to me.

can't think of any

I replied, wholeheartedly knew that there's something. 

Something that hasn't been gone for awhile now.

I am afraid not to be able to see beauty in beautiful things, i am afraid not to be alive both inside and out.

All of sudden, i somehow lost an ability to be interested in things. Anything can interest me no more.

Maybe it's the town. These chaostic traffics, smog, virus, crime, or people. Can't remember the last time i wake up with hopeful feeling that today is going to be a good day. 

When i know that i have a problem, i always come up with cause and solution.

Unfortunately, i'm too exhausted to even get a grasp of myself.

Growing up, we can't help but to encounter complications. This one is just one of those hopefully.

How can everyone live their lives inside this stream of nothingness. Haven't they ever paused and wonder what is it really that they are doing.

Those meaningless small talks, those unnecessary stories of others, why is it so important than understanding yourself. It might already sucked the life out of me.