I used to use music as a distraction. I don't like reality. Too terrifying but too calm; too many surprises but at the same time repetitive as fuck; it's uncontrollable. I would drown myself in music; let the imagination sink in, and let the reality sink down even deeper. The songs I listened to didn't represent me, they were only my acting tools when I roleplayed as the person I wanted to be. I abandoned all my dreams to become something I despise. I stopped caring about them, seeing as I couldn't get a hold of one.

The thing is, I found you, and the reason for me to stop caring about any dream changed. I don't need to find one. I already found it in you. When I listen to songs now I don't just go straight to inceptioning myself. It's changed. I think about things in real life because they're not that bad anymore. Not as terrifying, not as calm, not as surprising, and not as repetitive. It's still very much uncontrollable, but that's okay. I don't want to control it. I don't need to. Because I've found the one constant that I needed.

The songs still don't represent me; they represent you.

And I like them so much more.