Some people who read my latest entry might think I’m lucky to have many good circle of friends. I just didn’t tell you about the people I lost. I thought I had no reason to think about it, until I realized there are only 16 days left before I’m going to some remote island at the far south.

There was a friend I lost her in the middle of the peak of our friendship. She just turned her back at me and disappeared like she used a green screen and CGI. I never know why. I used to obsess with the reason why she went away like that. Now I forget why do I even question her.

There was a friend I lost him while we were walking along together on the same path. I expected him to be with me from the start until the destination and cherish it together when that day would come. We were holding hands so tight back then. Though his destination happened to change. The space between us had been farther. He changed the lane, got into the new highway. He went off so fast that I could not recognize his back if I took off my glasses. The last time we talked, he just wished me good luck and murmured some words I didn’t understand when I got sick (I couldn’t walk for 2 weeks.) That was the last time I could see his soul through my own eyes. Then he goes to another realm. I look at him like I’m watching J.J. Abrams’s movie with lowest bitrate I could find while watching it online with a 56k modem.

There was a friend I bonded with her like Yin and Yang, like two sides of the same coin, whatever people say to the best sidekick of the protagonist in the movie that complete each other. But when life threw shit at me and her, I just saw that the things I thought she had completed me was like a plastic surgery. They were all toxic. Before I knew how much she had hurt me the wounds were too deep and rotten I don’t know how to fix it. So I eliminated all the plastic she filled in me. My wounds are dry, but never grow back. They are all dead cells. “You are toxic.” I told her. “Oh, I’ve never known I am until now” said she. So I just leave it like that, with small hope that one day I will be immune to her or she mutates to be some friendly stem cells.

There are about two weeks left before I will go to somewhere far away that I might lose someone again. People are unsustainable. Today they are sticking to you like a sticky label on stuff you just bought, can’t be torn off with no reason, but only fortunetellers can tell you they will be with you until the end of time.

All I could do is to spend time with them with the finest quality I could give, store it in 4 different external hard disk, triple back up it online in every cloud I could find, and wish myself some luck.