Content Warning

• Exhibitionism

• Possessive and toxic behavior

• Praise and degradation

• Breath play

• Gun play

• Hand necklaces

• Sex next to a dead body

• Graphic sexual

• Violent content

• Rape

• Pregnancy loss

• Attempted suicide

"Hey. Talk to me, Freckles."

That name triggers so many memories for me.

I could listen to your voice on the phone forever, Freckles.

I miss your annoying face. I'll see you soon, Freckles.

Can I touch you, Freckles?

I'm not asking, Freckles. You are going on a date with me.

Freckles. Freckles. Freckles.

"I wish I could hate you the same way you hate me."

"You made me feel worthless for something that wasn't my fault."

If I had to define The Edge of Darkness trilogy in one word, it would definitely be ‘Emotionally bruised.’ It’s been over a month since I finished this series and I’m still not fully recovered. Every time ‘The Greatest Showman’ or a song ‘From now on’ pop-up on my feed, I had to immediately scroll. Otherwise I would start crying. I’m that sensitive. I still am. The thought of turning the page again is heavy enough to shatter my heart into a million pieces. Yes, it was a happy ending. But let’s not forget the fact that it took three long books before the happy ending, not one, not two—three. I lost count how many times I’ve cried over an ink on paper over characters that don’t even exist. How crazy is that? The Edge of Darkness trilogy isn’t for the weak. You need to be prepared for your heart to be ripped out, torn into pieces, put it back together and then stomp on it over and over again until you can no longer feel your heartbeat. That’s how much this trilogy holds power over me. Given a second chance, I would still read it. Even though I know my world would never be the same.

The story follows Kade and Stacy, two broken souls who used to be each other’s light in the darkness. Even when they were teenagers, they were never merely a lover—they were family. That was until the unexpected happened, crushed their worlds, and took them apart for years. Which then led them into the dark and forced them to survive the cruelty that nobody should ever have been through. Together and separately, they’ve faced thousands of trials. Evils disguised in human forms. Demons that haunt them even when they’re awake. Trapped in nightmares they can’t escape.

I guess that’s one way to summarize the trilogy into a short paragraph. 

Because in reality? Reality is much worse. 

The worst of the worst. 

Worse than you could even imagine. 

All I can say is enjoy the smuts while it lasts. Cause when all hell breaks loose, it will keep getting darker and darker until you’re suffocating. Nowhere to go. No room to breathe. Before you know, you’ve been diving far too deep to give up halfway through, you have to keep going and going until the end. You know the end is coming. But it sure as hell isn’t an easy path. Your heart is breaking and bleeding endlessly. At some point you’d ask 'When will the pain stop?’

Never.

It never stops.

Not for Kade. Not for Stacy. Not for us.

Even when you turn the last page, the pain still lingers long after. It will leave your heart bruised, abused. You would never be able to watch The Greatest Showman the same way ever again. I swear my life on it.

Before reading The Edge of Darkness trilogy, I’ve read some pretty messed-up shit before. That shit was so dark we can’t even talk about it publicly, or we would be witch-hunted. Many of us in that certain fandom have to be discreet about it. And it wasn’t a standalone or trilogy, it was a long ten books. Ten God damn messed-up books that I’ve been through—multiple times. I survived it. And I thought to myself, ‘If I can survive that, I could survive this trilogy too. How bad can it be?’ 

Now looking back, I can’t help but laugh at my naivete. A little heads up would be nice. That content warning did not prepare me for any of this. Because it wasn’t just the specific content that broke my heart or triggered me, it was the cruelty of the gravity that truly crushed me. Over and Over. Again and Again. The Edge of Darkness is the trilogy that tests the capacity of a human's heart for how much pain it could endure before it shatters. 

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve screamed and cried at three in the morning. 

It was as if my heart was ripped from my chest while I was still breathing. The pain was excruciating. Unbearable. The only reason that kept me going was the faith that there is light to find at their end. I was holding on to that faith. I had to. 

The world keeps taking and taking from them until there’s nothing left but gravel on the ground covered in blood and hearts torn to pieces. Every line, every dialogue, every word, they feel too real. As if somewhere in this world, Kade and Stacy are finding their way back to each other. I’m not surprised why Kade is the way that he is. He has every reason and every right to break apart. He was cut into pieces in cold blood by monsters. They don’t care if he lives or dies. They leave him bleeding to death. Stacy is the one putting Kade back together. If it wasn’t because of Stacy, Kade probably would never wake up from his nightmare. And I love Stacy for that. I admire and respect Stacy’s strength so much to the point that if things that happened to her were to happen to me, I don’t believe I could survive it, not in the way Stacy did. She has a heart of steel. She can be strong and tough when she needs to. And she can be soft, gentle, caring, understanding, and patient when it comes to Kade. Which honestly makes me fall in love with Stacy even more. My heart breaks for her. When she cries, I cry. When she suffers, I too suffer. We are sharing the same pain, just with different capacities to endure it. She is the one with a bigger heart and more resilience, not me. I could never.

The most unrealistic part of this trilogy—the only unrealistic part is how Stacy didn’t fall into severe depression after everything she’s been through when she was a teenager. 

Yes, we were given THAT SCENE (no spoiler), but in reality, someone who’s been through what she’s been through would either end their lives a long time ago or be on several meds to cope with depression. I know this by heart because I’ve witnessed a lot of people with less tragic pasts fall into depression and have been on meds for years and still not recovered. But Stacy? Stacy rises from her pain. She becomes stronger. She is the survivor.

Yes, I admit, I find Stacy insufferable in the first and the half of the second book. She was introduced as a girl who cheated on her boyfriend (Kade) a few years ago. I have the right to hate Stacy. But I’m glad I stick to their story until the end. There were so many things that happened in the past that made Stacy come across as an unlovable character at first. But the moment everything laid bare on the table? I wanted to beg on my knees for her forgiveness and shield her from the outside world forever. 

The things that happened to her were beyond despicable. The real character that deserves hatred and should have rotted in hell for eternity is her stepbrother, whose name I won’t even dignify. He is one of the most disgusting characters I’ve come across in a very long, long time. He deserved what happened to him. He had it coming. He did this to himself. I don’t feel sorry for him. Not in the slightest. Kade’s abusers are as repulsive as he is. But their endings are so much more satisfying. I could re-read the revenge scene all over again, and it would feel as refreshing as reading it for the first time.

The Edge of Darkness isn’t just about Kade and Stacy, it’s about everyone. Kade, Stacy, Base, Lucilla, Tobias, Aria, Ewan, and Barry. Everybody has an equally important role to the point where when you reach the end, you will beg for more. More of Lucilla and Base. More of Barry. Especially more of Tobias—obviously. 

I fall head over heels for Tobias. How could I not? To the outside world, he might be out of touch with reality, but to his family? He is everything to them. Tobias stays in prison willingly to make his family happy. Tobias is the person Kade confined to when he was heartbroken and lost. Tobias is the person who believes Stacy when no one else believes her—not even her own father. Tobias is the father figure Stacy needs. There is nothing I love more than the bond between Stacy and Tobias. Every encounter brings me so much joy. Even just a tiny detail is enough to crack me up. Tobias is indeed a huge teddy bear and I want to know what it feels like to hug him too. I envy Stacy and Aria so much for being able to hug him anytime they want. Lucky!

The other character that has to be brought up is Jason. He is the victim in all of this nightmare as much as Stacy and Kade. He’s lost his brother, his fiancée, his child, his family. The event of that night cost him everything. And the worst part is, he doesn’t even get his happy ending. I really wish—I wish somewhere in this world, Jason is holding Kade and Stacy’s little angel, smiling from heaven, knowing he has fulfilled his promise with Stacy and Kade has forgiven him. Maybe in another life, Jason will have his happy ending too. Yeah… maybe.

10/10

One of the most heartbreaking trilogies I’ve read so far. And to be able to break me even more than The Edge of Darkness would be as nearly as impossible. Let’s not forget that it’s been over a month and I’m still in pain. Emotionally ruined. Mourning. Grieving over characters that don't even exist. I was so messed up to the point that I couldn't even begin to read Psychotic Obsession even though I was dying and was so excited when I received the book. I know Leigh Rivers would be merciless. I just couldn’t bear the pain. Not yet. I’ve been biding my time until this very moment. Despite knowing how it ends, for the first time, I fear for my sanity. 

Kade Mitchell and Stacy Rhodes—the fifteenth-year-old who met by the pool twenty years ago—finally get to have their forever.